Taking Ownership of Your Life with Sierra Santal
Sierra is here to talk to us about accountability and taking intentional action to build the life that you most desire. She opens up about her current experience with sobriety, her recent move to Austin and what she's working to manifest in her life, plus how. We discuss the program that has taken us both on a journey of deep self-exploration called To Be Magnetic; it has showed us where we were playing small and how to raise our self-worth which opens up a world of possibility. We talk about creativity, play, joy, deservingness, tapping into clarity, confidence and the power within ourselves. This conversation is raw and filled with compassions and radical honesty - two gals taking accountability for their futures.
My Current Obsession: To Be Magnetic - Episode 122: EXPLAINED Neural Manifestation
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Transcript:
00;00;04;07 - 00;00;29;12
Intro/Stephanie
I'm Stephanie Hammond and this is the Fruition podcast. On this show, I sit down with passionate people who've brought their dreams to fruition. We'll explore different versions of success and fulfillment and dig in to what was on their minds along the way. But these conversations, I hope we can all expand our sense of possibility. And who knows? Maybe hearing their stories will inspire you to take action on yours.
00;00;29;14 - 00;00;50;20
Intro/Stephanie
Welcome back. This episode is fun because we're switching it up a little bit. Normally I talk a lot about career because it makes up most of the hours in your life. So if you're not happy in your career, you're probably feeling pretty frustrated. But how you do one thing is how you do everything. So if you're needing to see a change in your life, you can also start somewhere else.
00;00;50;21 - 00;01;16;26
Intro/Stephanie
It doesn't have to be career. You can kind of build up to that. So you could start with your health or your habits or your beliefs. Today we're talking to a friend of mine, Sierra, who's taken tremendous action in her life these past few years. We talk about her move to Austin, her year of sobriety, and the value we both have found from ruthlessly editing our lives in everything from the physical to the social.
00;01;16;29 - 00;01;39;20
Intro/Stephanie
I'm super excited because we dive deep into a program and community were unsure what to call it that we're both actively a part of called to Be Magnetic. It's massively important to me. So I guess we'll call it my current obsession, but it's not a trend for me at all. It's a permanent part of my toolkit. We describe what it is and how it works in the episode.
00;01;39;23 - 00;02;07;25
Intro/Stephanie
But long story short, it's it's basically a structured collection of meditations that use hypnotherapy to tap into your subconscious so that you can understand the beliefs that are coming up that drive your thoughts, your emotions, your actions. This work has been profound in understanding myself and my patterns and in raising my self-worth. So I would absolutely recommend it to everybody.
00;02;07;27 - 00;02;34;27
Intro/Stephanie
And they have a podcast too. So I'll link an episode if you want to get a little taste of what that's all about. To be honest, it feels pretty vulnerable to talk about because this works a deep dive into the brightest, but very much also the darkest aspects of yourself. And we both share some of our learnings are whores and our transformations, but it's all in the spirit of hopefully helping you to live your best life.
00;02;34;27 - 00;02;58;09
Intro/Stephanie
So if it turns one of you on to looking deeper within yourselves, then it's worth it. So let me know if you have any thoughts on our conversation on my latest post at Path to Fruition on Instagram or TikTok. And please tap the five stars. Wherever you're listening, you should not have to log in. So it's just a quick little tap and it would mean the world to me.
00;02;58;11 - 00;03;14;26
Intro/Stephanie
Oh, and also, this is the first episode that I'm going to put up on YouTube. So if you're into that and you want to watch, then just search the fruition podcast on YouTube.com and I'll obviously link that in the show notes as well. Okay. Have a fabulous day.
00;03;14;29 - 00;03;20;02
Stephanie
Have loads here of the Fruition podcast. Hey.
00;03;20;04 - 00;03;24;19
Sierra
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so excited to talk about all the things I.
00;03;24;19 - 00;03;31;25
Stephanie
Remember that morning that we both you wake up earlier than me and we both went for a walk and I was like trailing you.
00;03;31;28 - 00;03;34;08
Stephanie
200 feet. And we're both.
00;03;34;09 - 00;03;35;05
Stephanie
Like doing our.
00;03;35;05 - 00;03;41;16
Stephanie
Meditations are just like our reflections. And I was like, 200 feet behind you.
00;03;41;17 - 00;03;53;02
Stephanie
Like, of course, she's a around in front of me. Of course, we're on our solo walks on Saturday morning, like staring up at the trees. And at one point you stopped me. Like, put your hand on a big tree.
00;03;53;04 - 00;04;13;02
Sierra
Like, I love this girl. Oh, my God. She is so my type of person That definitely tracks. I'm always like, picking up feathers. I like came my roommate the other day. I was picking them up and I was like, I don't know. I'm like a small child. I'm always, like, picking up random. Like I like nature objects to, like, collect and put on.
00;04;13;02 - 00;04;14;14
Sierra
Like, small altars.
00;04;14;16 - 00;04;15;15
Stephanie
But yeah, we were in Santa.
00;04;15;15 - 00;04;19;18
Sierra
Barbara, so it was so beautiful, like to just walk around to that place. I was like.
00;04;19;18 - 00;04;20;20
Stephanie
What is.
00;04;20;20 - 00;04;21;18
Sierra
Happening?
00;04;21;20 - 00;04;27;15
Stephanie
Yes. Okay. So we were both visiting Santa Barbara, but neither of us lived there, even though.
00;04;27;17 - 00;04;28;06
Stephanie
Considering.
00;04;28;08 - 00;04;36;28
Intro/Stephanie
It for us. So just tell us a little bit about yourself, where do you live right now and where are you from? When did you move?
00;04;37;01 - 00;04;37;28
Stephanie
Yeah.
00;04;38;00 - 00;05;08;26
Sierra
So I am currently in Austin, Texas. I moved to Austin, Texas at the end of last year, so like end of October, beginning of November. Prior to that, I was in Colorado, which I wasn't born in, but I was raised and from the time that I was like three. So I grew up in Boulder, Colorado, and that's where I met Miss Melanie, who is our connected friend, and bumped around like traveled a bunch while like growing up.
00;05;08;26 - 00;05;34;15
Sierra
But I had never left. So at the beginning of last year, I was like, It's time. I was like, It's really time. So over the course of 2022, I kind of committed to a plan to get me to Austin, Texas. So yeah, here I am now, loving it. It's real hot right now. We are in three digit degrees.
00;05;34;15 - 00;05;35;02
Stephanie
So out.
00;05;35;02 - 00;05;36;26
Sierra
Of the day. Yeah. Oh yeah.
00;05;36;28 - 00;05;42;28
Stephanie
Grow up almost like it's like the opposite. Like I wanted to leave Colorado and skirt.
00;05;42;28 - 00;06;02;16
Sierra
Winter because I was just. I grew up a skier. I respect it, but I was tired of being cold. And so. But it's funny because in these really hot places like Texas or Arizona, it's like flip flopped. Like you spend most of your time inside in the summer. But it's a cool place. It's a really cool place. I feel very grateful.
00;06;02;16 - 00;06;17;03
Sierra
The best way I can describe Austin is like it is a city of makers, like it is so art, like artistic in so many different ways and it's far more diverse than I thought it was going to be, which really filled me up. That's definitely what I was looking for in a move.
00;06;17;03 - 00;06;41;11
Intro/Stephanie
And so you're in this kind of experimental phase, but you're being very intentional with where you're going and why you're going there, why you want these different types of experiences. So I want to flip my normal structure of these conversations on its head, and I want to hear about your vision for yourself. Now, where are you kind of tracking for the next couple of years?
00;06;41;11 - 00;06;47;11
Intro/Stephanie
Actually, longer term, Just let's talk about your magnetic self. I don't know if you at all.
00;06;47;11 - 00;06;49;24
Stephanie
We'll talk about it. I like it, but it's.
00;06;49;24 - 00;06;51;24
Intro/Stephanie
Probably fresh in your mind. So let's.
00;06;51;24 - 00;06;52;27
Stephanie
Just tell.
00;06;52;27 - 00;07;04;24
Intro/Stephanie
Us about who is your magnetic self and not like where do you see yourself in five years, But like, how do you envision yourself feeling and maybe what are the things that you think will be a part of your day to day life?
00;07;04;27 - 00;07;43;12
Sierra
Yeah, So Magnetic South, which is so funny because it's like coming up in the challenge, which we'll obviously talk about, but I just feel it coming out, coming out everywhere in my community and like universal stuff right now. I feel like a lot of people are having this conversation. So I think it's right on time. But my magnetic self is one that is completely comfortable in who she is and is willing to pursue a life that is totally in alignment with her creative self and just unhappily angelic, but in the most compassionate way.
00;07;43;12 - 00;08;07;27
Sierra
I think so frequently this word of authenticity gets thrown around and it's kind of become like a lottery word. Everybody is like, be authentic, do this, do that. And for me, I just find it interesting to watch people start to take on certain energies when they say be authentic because they're trying to emulate somebody else who, you know, really produces authenticity.
00;08;07;27 - 00;08;37;07
Sierra
When authenticity is truly about you, it's so unique to each person. By being outspoken doesn't make you authentic unless you are a like, you know, you are an outspoken in person. So it's one of those things that for me, my magnetic self is her authentic being. She's just in alignment. She's doing what she wants. For me, magnetism and alignment is so much freedom.
00;08;37;07 - 00;09;01;07
Sierra
She's where she wants my day to day. I like to switch it up every day. And you know, she's working with people to give back, whether through business or through emotional help and things like that. So, yeah, she's living life on her own terms to put it in the most succinct way possible.
00;09;01;09 - 00;09;08;06
Intro/Stephanie
What are some of the bigger manifestations that you are kind of envisioning for yourself?
00;09;08;09 - 00;09;08;27
Stephanie
Yeah, down the.
00;09;08;27 - 00;09;13;15
Intro/Stephanie
Line of course, we don't have to attach any timelines to it. Kids who are not in control.
00;09;13;15 - 00;09;18;02
Stephanie
Of the when, why not daily?
00;09;18;04 - 00;09;22;04
Intro/Stephanie
But what are some of those bigger things that you're looking to?
00;09;22;07 - 00;09;38;29
Sierra
Yeah, so I would really like in the next I would say I would say like in the next 3 to 5 years to really pursue and start my own business. So that's definitely something that's in the works right now.
00;09;39;01 - 00;09;39;20
Stephanie
I would like.
00;09;39;20 - 00;10;01;08
Sierra
To be taking a stand and traveling internationally back again. I did that a lot in my early twenties and I just I think there was there was a lot of grief and pain caused by COVID. But I happen to be of the mind set that COVID happened for a reason and that it needed to happen and in some ways in order to.
00;10;01;10 - 00;10;01;25
Stephanie
Basically.
00;10;01;25 - 00;10;28;28
Sierra
Skyrocketed. Globalization. I love the idea that, you know, living in Austin, Texas, I'm in the same time zone as places in Colombia, and it's like, why don't I just go down and work in Colombia for six months because I can. So I see that happening. For me, I think partnership is something that I'm really I'm I'm ready to get back into in the next, you know, in the next few seasons.
00;10;29;01 - 00;10;32;14
Sierra
It's an interesting world out there right now. I think for anybody.
00;10;32;20 - 00;10;36;23
Stephanie
That's anybody that's dating. But I, I.
00;10;36;23 - 00;10;58;06
Sierra
That was one of my biggest, biggest pain points in so many aspects in my life and trying to navigate that and really kind of orchestrate and call in a partner that's truly aligned to who I see myself becoming and is also willing to do a lot of the work that is required into it, like a an evolving person.
00;10;58;06 - 00;11;05;18
Sierra
So I would say starting business international more create living life from a creative and playful place.
00;11;05;18 - 00;11;06;19
Stephanie
Is.
00;11;06;21 - 00;11;26;05
Sierra
Numero uno because honestly, that's the top of it. That will allow the rest of it to kind of fall into place. And that's the one that I have to work on every single day. And so many of my things in my design, whether it's like I don't know if any of your listeners are into like human design or gene keys and things like that.
00;11;26;05 - 00;11;36;00
Sierra
But so much of that plays to like, I'm literally supposed to like I think my gene key is Gene Key 14 and how it's described as like don't put like money first.
00;11;36;00 - 00;11;46;27
Stephanie
Feel joy and then you'll make more money. I was like, okay. But it was like perfect. So to me sounds great, but how do I get there?
00;11;47;00 - 00;11;49;00
Intro/Stephanie
Are you a generator or no.
00;11;49;02 - 00;12;22;08
Sierra
Are you? I'm a projector. Yeah, I'm a projector. I am a13 projector. So and one threes are basically experiment. Like all we do is experiment, like, consistently is. And then we're supposed to talk about our lived experience or maybe not talk about it, but express it in some capacity. Share it. Yes. So yeah, I would say those are my those are my top things that I'm really calling in that I think will help build for the most like aligned authentic virgin yourself.
00;12;22;13 - 00;12;38;18
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, play is one of the words in my authentic code because the more that I can allow myself to play, which I'm really good at it, I just don't allow myself to do it that often. Like trick myself into thinking that work is play. I'm like, Oh yeah, that was play.
00;12;38;21 - 00;12;40;29
Stephanie
Right? It wasn't real, real play.
00;12;41;06 - 00;13;09;11
Intro/Stephanie
And it's it's I play that. That's probably one of my hot takes, I guess. But I just have come to firmly believe that the more fun that I have and the more I can play, the more everybody around me benefits obviously, including myself, because it genuinely brings out this whole other layer of creativity that I cannot access if I'm here in my regimented, structured mode.
00;13;09;13 - 00;13;27;29
Intro/Stephanie
And then eventually I go back to that mode too, and then I get so much done, I can act on the creativity that kind of bubbled up during that time of play. And so it's I mean, the idea for this podcast came out of a full week of play, you know, and I just allowed myself to stop and rest.
00;13;27;29 - 00;13;56;08
Intro/Stephanie
And when I tune into my body, I get out of my head. And when I'm in my body and not in my head, that's when all those ideas come out. And then that's that's where you can create something and then build something. So play is huge and that's such it's such a good word too, because like if you're trying to be more creative and you're trying methods to come up with ideas, I just think that it backfires.
00;13;56;08 - 00;13;59;21
Intro/Stephanie
You get into your monkey brain and you spin in circles, right?
00;13;59;22 - 00;14;02;11
Stephanie
Like there's nothing up there right?
00;14;02;13 - 00;14;11;29
Intro/Stephanie
Like we know how to play. All of us know how to play. And it's it's interesting to just start to believe that that word is the key.
00;14;12;06 - 00;14;12;22
Stephanie
It's like the.
00;14;12;22 - 00;14;25;00
Intro/Stephanie
Answer for me at least. It might not be for everyone. I mean, I know that, but human design, everyone has their different paths and methods. But definitely for me, I align with you on that. Play is so, so, so big.
00;14;25;05 - 00;14;54;22
Sierra
Yes. And what you said about when you feel like you're doing it, I mean, you do you give people a permission slip and that's why this this quote unquote work is so important to do it, not because of the things you obtain or the things you achieve, but like people don't understand. When you choose to live in alignment, you are literally reflecting back to anybody else around you that they are able to do the same thing and making it okay for people to do exactly what it is that they want to do.
00;14;54;22 - 00;15;16;05
Sierra
So that's just like pivotal. So like the playful aspect to it is because I think so much of life and it's been so heavy, I think universally for the last few years, it's like you're supposed to feel joy in this life. And I know it can get hard for so many different reasons, but yeah, prioritizing joy and not feeling afraid.
00;15;16;05 - 00;15;31;16
Sierra
That's where a lot of my work has died. I've like literally I'll sit there and I will feel scared to feel joy because I know that it's like something that's going to get taken away. Brené Brown does a lot of different talks around that, and I think she does a really great job of encompassing the importance of joy.
00;15;31;16 - 00;15;34;17
Sierra
And I like the space it should hold in your life.
00;15;34;20 - 00;15;46;21
Intro/Stephanie
And we all enjoy different things. And I don't know if you if you follow. Zoe. Yes. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I should have guessed that.
00;15;46;23 - 00;15;48;08
Stephanie
No, but I mean.
00;15;48;08 - 00;16;11;04
Intro/Stephanie
She always says that we enjoy different things because we're meant to pursue those things that we enjoy doing. Is that is our key. That's the thing that we are here to bring. And the arena that we're meant to be in. And so like one person might enjoy writing, I do not, you know, so like, go right, it'll bring you joy and then maybe you write a book, maybe you write a play, who knows?
00;16;11;04 - 00;16;19;22
Intro/Stephanie
But that's that's your key. So like, follow your joy. I know. Yes. So I that is everywhere. That's like on the boards at home.
00;16;19;28 - 00;16;22;27
Stephanie
It's like follow your joy, you know, like, I really.
00;16;22;27 - 00;16;35;06
Intro/Stephanie
Think that it's such a hidden secret. Like, is that simple? I think it's that simple. But anyways, we should probably we should probably define some of these.
00;16;35;06 - 00;16;36;27
Stephanie
Terms that we're using and yeah.
00;16;36;28 - 00;16;52;00
Intro/Stephanie
How people where we're coming from. So when I said authentic code and when I asked about Sierra's magnetic self and the things that she's manifesting, this is all coming from, I guess a pro gram, would you call it a program?
00;16;52;02 - 00;16;55;06
Sierra
I mean, I think I think I would dub it like a community.
00;16;55;06 - 00;16;55;28
Intro/Stephanie
A community?
00;16;55;28 - 00;16;56;25
Sierra
Yeah, I think.
00;16;56;25 - 00;17;26;16
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. Okay. So it's called to be magnetic and it's a community centered around getting back to what Lacey says, your whole most authentic, worthy self so that you can manifest the things that you desire. It's marketed, I guess, as a method to manifest the things that you want. So like if you want to manifest a house or if you want to manifest a car or you want to manifest a partner or something like that, some material item.
00;17;26;18 - 00;17;51;25
Intro/Stephanie
But what it always comes back to is what are the stories that you're telling yourself that are stopping you from feeling worthy and deserving of those things? Now? Because once you do feel worthy and deserving of those things, they will naturally find their way into your life. And so the marketing of this community is all about like manifestation and the material plane.
00;17;51;25 - 00;18;18;10
Intro/Stephanie
But when you start to learn about it and you really start to follow the process and understand the energetics behind it, it's all about self-worth and it's all about learning to really nurture your self and and express your emotions and give yourself room to learn about what might be holding you back or what you dream and desire out of your life.
00;18;18;10 - 00;18;39;11
Intro/Stephanie
It's really getting to know yourself and raise your worth. And it's utilizes hypnotherapy. So it's these meditations that you listen to and they structure it in a way that's really easy, and you listen to these meditations and discover pieces of yourself. And if that sounds scary to people, I promise you, it's not my thought. It might be scary, too.
00;18;39;11 - 00;18;41;03
Intro/Stephanie
I thought there'd be, like, some vicious.
00;18;41;03 - 00;18;44;11
Stephanie
Demon inside you that I would discover.
00;18;44;14 - 00;19;05;17
Intro/Stephanie
There's not. And you get to know your inner child and you get to know your shadows and the things that you the stories that you're telling yourself that are likely not true or just come from a place of hurt. And the more that you get to know yourself, the more that you look at these things, the more you start to love those pieces and parts of yourself.
00;19;05;19 - 00;19;09;16
Intro/Stephanie
And so I don't know if there's anything that you want to add to that. You're very eloquent and.
00;19;09;18 - 00;19;10;24
Stephanie
Oh, how long have.
00;19;10;24 - 00;19;12;01
Intro/Stephanie
You been doing this?
00;19;12;04 - 00;19;15;13
Sierra
Yeah. So I actually found Lacy Phillips.
00;19;15;13 - 00;19;17;04
Stephanie
Through.
00;19;17;07 - 00;19;25;07
Sierra
The podcast almost 30. And what I like to joke and say is like between Lacy Phillips, almost 30 and Jenna. Zoe Like I was.
00;19;25;07 - 00;19;30;12
Stephanie
Raised by them and I like it like, you know, I think that might be no truer.
00;19;30;12 - 00;19;31;05
Intro/Stephanie
Words have ever.
00;19;31;05 - 00;19;35;19
Stephanie
Been spoken quite literally. Wow. Yes. Because, I mean, I.
00;19;35;19 - 00;20;04;16
Sierra
Think, you know, we have, you know, parents or whomever raised you or if you raised yourself up until a certain point and then you leave whatever you consider to be home, whether in some usually time frame, somewhere between sometimes for people at 16, upwards of like in 21. But then you are kind of responsible for what what we like to call the team work or in a couple other places as re parenting yourself.
00;20;04;18 - 00;20;26;09
Sierra
So then like in your mid-to-late twenties, you kind of become responsible for asking yourself, and I am in the deep belief that the difference between people who are living a life that they want to live and somebody who is not is really like they've asked themselves, What do I want? And so I always like picture like Noah from a notebook when he.
00;20;26;13 - 00;20;34;12
Stephanie
Like talking about like, what do you want? Like that is that is the you at first was yelling at you like, what do you want? And so.
00;20;34;12 - 00;20;41;27
Sierra
I mean, in my late twenties I found and I feel so grateful that I found the work of Laci and watched her build.
00;20;41;27 - 00;20;43;24
Stephanie
It up. But yeah.
00;20;43;25 - 00;21;05;29
Sierra
It's rooted in hypnotherapy and and hypnosis, I think. I don't know if there's a difference, but yeah, there is. The thing I love about Laci, Phillip's is that she rides a line between what some people like to dub woo woo and science. And because I'm very much in that same thing, I love someone who was up. I grew up in Boulder, Colorado.
00;21;05;29 - 00;21;07;03
Sierra
I've seen it.
00;21;07;06 - 00;21;12;21
Stephanie
You pretty much like it. I've seen some weird shit like, I love it, but I like I.
00;21;12;21 - 00;21;31;04
Sierra
Also like I need something that's practical and I also need you to give me data to show me that it works. So meditation over time in and time out. And if anybody that's listening to this that feels really uncomfortable with woo woo stuff, please just start with meditation. There is so much science and so it's so science backed at this point.
00;21;31;04 - 00;21;36;03
Sierra
It really needs to be taken away, in my opinion, from spiritual ity. It is a component.
00;21;36;03 - 00;21;37;11
Stephanie
Of it, but it really.
00;21;37;11 - 00;21;58;26
Sierra
Is like it's its own thing. You do not have to be a spiritual person to meditate in any capacity or cheerleader spending time with yourself. So yeah, I found the work in my like 26, 27 and I've gone in and out of working with it because I don't think I was ready to commit or I was in certain situations where I just wasn't able to.
00;21;58;26 - 00;22;27;26
Sierra
And the biggest part of this work, just like any component of doing self work, whether it's therapy, this journaling, whatever it is, I think one of the hardest things is becoming relentlessly honest with yourself. And so I don't think it really was on like until my until I was probably like 30. And I had like left situations that I really needed to that I was like, I'm ready to be just relentlessly honest with who I am and who I see myself becoming.
00;22;27;26 - 00;22;38;22
Sierra
So, yeah, shout out to the to the people over at TBL because the work they're doing is unmatched and I am so grateful for it every day.
00;22;38;24 - 00;23;05;01
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, yeah. And a lot of it is about taking accountability and not enough punishment type of. Yeah, yeah. Accountability for what you want out of your life, like you said. So there's going to be times that it's difficult to look at the stories for sure. Yeah, but if you decide to be accountable for yourself and for your future, then that really helps with the commitment.
00;23;05;01 - 00;23;28;12
Intro/Stephanie
And there just I think there comes a time, a point in everybody's life where they kind of reach their breaking point and they're done with allowing things. They're done with the belief that things are happening to them and they're ready to take that accountability and and get in the driver's seat and have a more proactive look at their life and their future.
00;23;28;14 - 00;23;47;22
Sierra
Right. Right. And I think that is a big, big difference between I don't know. I see. And like older generations, you know, shout out to moms, dads, grandparents there. But we are like one of the first generations to ever exist that can take this level of accountability because we we do have a lot of privilege. We're not having to hunter, hunter gatherer anything.
00;23;47;22 - 00;24;08;06
Sierra
And no, our parents didn't necessarily either. But there were so many limiting beliefs still passed down from their parents. This is truly we are that bridge generation that is going to exist between people that thought life was happening to them and people that are truly developing a life that they want. And you can already see it. I mean, anytime you scroll, take top, you see Gen Z.
00;24;08;08 - 00;24;19;17
Stephanie
Doing whatever the fuck they want, making. I love all of my love. You. Thank you so much for the permission slip. Like you're doing what they want because they can.
00;24;19;20 - 00;24;23;27
Sierra
But because they also don't have the limiting beliefs. Because I think a lot of our generation is starting to like.
00;24;23;28 - 00;24;26;08
Stephanie
Give birth to them, quite literally. Yes.
00;24;26;08 - 00;24;39;29
Sierra
So it's it's really interesting to watch. And yeah, that accountability that's the other thing that this community is so good at doing. Unfortunately, in a lot of manifestation rhetoric that exists, it's it really skips the part of.
00;24;39;29 - 00;24;42;13
Stephanie
Taking aligned action. You can't just like.
00;24;42;13 - 00;24;59;24
Sierra
Sit there on a cloud and have things like, you know, your life is required to take action. And so you have to ask yourself what you want. You don't need to take all the action all at once. But when you're do this work, you're able to break down and really have things come through.
00;24;59;24 - 00;25;00;25
Stephanie
You.
00;25;00;28 - 00;25;10;27
Sierra
In figuring out what could the next step like be That's actually available to me right now in aligning and making sure that my life is looking the way that I want it to look?
00;25;11;00 - 00;25;35;23
Intro/Stephanie
Yes. Yeah, 100%. It's so transformative. It's crazy. And a lot of I mean, Lacy says this all the time, but she says a lot of the manifestation in rhetoric that's out there does talk about just thinking positively, telling yourself that you're going to have that thing, you know, like, say, an affirmation once a hundred times a morning in the mirror or something like that.
00;25;35;23 - 00;26;01;08
Intro/Stephanie
And while those things feel really good, I my biggest thing I'm filled with self doubt. Like I'm just filled with doubt, self-doubt, but also doubt of the process that it'll work for me. I just find all these different ways to doubt things. And so that manifestation rhetoric that's out there that says, Think positive, do these affirmations, I would come up with the like, maybe I do that, maybe I try that.
00;26;01;08 - 00;26;22;29
Intro/Stephanie
But then I would have all these awful thoughts later in the day and I would tell myself these stories about myself or my life or whatever it was, and just felt totally out of control of staying in that positive headspace. And so this has been so interesting, this method, because it really digs deep and cleans up all that negativity that might be inside of you.
00;26;22;29 - 00;26;32;29
Intro/Stephanie
And it's not like you never have a negative thought again. It's just that it gives you this framework to address those stories. So that you're not just ignoring them.
00;26;33;02 - 00;26;33;17
Stephanie
Yeah, you're.
00;26;33;17 - 00;27;05;07
Intro/Stephanie
Actually changing the response that you have to them and you're changing your understanding of them so that you can lay them to rest and find peace with those different parts of your life, Your mind, whatever. And then you just naturally find yourself in a more positive space more frequently, I guess, all the time. But I think that's what's been really useful to me is actually having a framework to clean it up and get stuff done.
00;27;05;07 - 00;27;06;20
Stephanie
So absolutely, it's.
00;27;06;20 - 00;27;07;14
Intro/Stephanie
A lot of.
00;27;07;17 - 00;27;13;04
Stephanie
Talk, it's a lot of tea. We're here and I love it. I know, I mean it. I think it should be talked about because it's.
00;27;13;04 - 00;27;33;03
Sierra
Something that's easily accessible to anybody too. It's not like you have to take a whole course. I mean, you can do this in the privacy of your own home. And it is it's like it's taking the a hold of the steering wheel again, because a lot of this like a lot I mean, everything in your life is a projection of subconscious beliefs.
00;27;33;05 - 00;27;49;05
Sierra
So if you don't know what those beliefs are, this is what it's all that work is allowing you to do. And regardless, I think some people stay away from this work because they think like, Oh, well, I didn't really go through anything super traumatic as a kid or like, maybe like everything was gravy growing up in your house.
00;27;49;07 - 00;28;06;09
Sierra
There's still like literally a teacher could have said something to you one time and it doesn't make those people bad, but it's just like your brains are so sensitive when you're small that you take one thing that one person said. And I and fortunately, it gets applied to the rest of your life. And I think once.
00;28;06;09 - 00;28;25;07
Stephanie
You start doing this work, you start looking around and you do see that as adults, like sometimes they do be just like little kids living in adult families. And you're like, What is going on? That's a strange thing to that. It's like dealing with children. Yeah. So it like, allows you to.
00;28;25;07 - 00;28;26;14
Sierra
Like, I think, grow.
00;28;26;14 - 00;28;26;25
Intro/Stephanie
Up.
00;28;27;00 - 00;28;27;15
Sierra
In a lot of.
00;28;27;15 - 00;28;52;04
Intro/Stephanie
Ways. Yes, 100%. I completely agree. So going back to account accountability and taking intentional action, you've been doing a lot of that and I am so inspired by these big steps that you've taken. So to the extent that you're comfortable, I'd love to hear about your year of sobriety, your move to Austin. Like what? What prompted these specific changes?
00;28;52;04 - 00;28;54;09
Stephanie
Yeah.
00;28;54;11 - 00;29;10;15
Sierra
Well, and I think I should I think it's important to like walk people through my my past a little bit. So I growing up in Boulder, Colorado, Boulder, Colorado, if some people are not familiar, is a college town. The CU Boulder is their own stuff.
00;29;10;15 - 00;29;13;06
Stephanie
Right to see you go by.
00;29;13;09 - 00;29;25;09
Sierra
So it was a really interesting place to grow up for a lot of reasons. It is the safest, most beautiful place I could have ever grown up. So I will not I'm not I'm not going to discount that in any capacity.
00;29;25;11 - 00;29;28;05
Stephanie
I just had a availability of access.
00;29;28;05 - 00;29;29;15
Sierra
To a lot of drinking.
00;29;29;15 - 00;29;33;21
Stephanie
Very early on through going to are growing.
00;29;33;21 - 00;29;38;13
Sierra
Up there. There was also things in I think in my childhood that were also.
00;29;38;13 - 00;29;40;03
Stephanie
Part of that. But I.
00;29;40;05 - 00;29;41;07
Sierra
Am like, you know.
00;29;41;11 - 00;29;43;19
Stephanie
It was a handful of us that got into.
00;29;43;20 - 00;29;45;21
Sierra
That and it was around. And so.
00;29;45;21 - 00;29;47;10
Stephanie
I.
00;29;47;13 - 00;29;56;14
Sierra
Started pretty I started heavily drinking when I, I mean, I would probably say like 15. So maybe, yeah, maybe even 14.
00;29;56;17 - 00;29;58;14
Stephanie
So that's when I first started.
00;29;58;21 - 00;30;11;16
Sierra
I was a baby, baby, baby. And then also came like, you know, recreational drug use and things like that. And so that definitely was there and then traveling. And then I worked in the restaurant and bar industry.
00;30;11;16 - 00;30;12;07
Stephanie
For a while.
00;30;12;07 - 00;30;16;12
Sierra
In my early twenties, and I think that.
00;30;16;12 - 00;30;16;28
Stephanie
I.
00;30;16;28 - 00;30;23;19
Sierra
Really glorified as I mean, I think some people do in their twenties this image of a party girl.
00;30;23;20 - 00;30;26;07
Stephanie
I really I thought.
00;30;26;07 - 00;30;44;19
Sierra
Because I was good at it, honestly, I at that point, like I could drink many people under the table. I was like just always like I thought that I was always having a far better time when I was drinking and I was going and I was exploring and I was courageous. I could do I had no inhibitions.
00;30;44;21 - 00;30;49;13
Stephanie
At all, zero or negative innovations.
00;30;49;16 - 00;31;10;23
Sierra
So I think it's just important to talk about that and also validate like I know that alcohol comes or consumption of drugs and alcohol, if it does come into your life, comes in at different times. So mine came on pretty early onset. And I also do come from a family of my father is an alcoholic and I was not raised with my father really.
00;31;10;23 - 00;31;28;03
Sierra
But I think it's always important to know where you come from in terms of some of the things that run in your lineage as you I don't know, as you explore some of these things, I think it's easier to validate some of like it is going to be a little bit of a different journey.
00;31;28;06 - 00;31;31;16
Stephanie
But I did that for my twenties.
00;31;31;18 - 00;31;38;22
Sierra
Didn't really, you know, think anything of it. And then in my later twenties, I got into a romantic relationship.
00;31;38;22 - 00;31;40;10
Stephanie
That was book.
00;31;40;10 - 00;31;43;16
Sierra
A book, and it is putting it lightly. I would think it was.
00;31;43;18 - 00;31;44;09
Stephanie
The basis.
00;31;44;09 - 00;32;11;23
Sierra
Of it was drugs and alcohol, like it was just every single weekend. It was heavy drugs, a lot of cocaine use and alcohol and it just didn't stop. And I had gotten into a very bad car accident in 2017 that I got a traumatic brain injury from and that kind of feels like a place where alcohol started to affect me differently because prior to that I never really noticed.
00;32;11;23 - 00;32;12;18
Sierra
But after.
00;32;12;18 - 00;32;13;02
Stephanie
That.
00;32;13;09 - 00;32;34;04
Sierra
And maybe it was due to combining it with heavy drugs, it just kind of went downhill and it went downhill really quick. I started to see sides of myself that, I mean, I guess lived in me, but I had never seen before through a lot of like, I don't know, anger or rage or just irrationality. Like, I couldn't I just felt uncontrollable at this point.
00;32;34;04 - 00;32;58;22
Sierra
And some of this, I will say, was in tandem with the fact that I was in an unhealthy, romantic relationship that was based on a lot of insecurity. And that's just going to be gasoline fluid on this type of stuff. It's never going to be good. So I moved through my later twenties and I, I decided to leave that relationship when I was 29 at the beginning, I think 29 beginning of 2020.
00;32;58;25 - 00;33;25;13
Sierra
And then I was sober. I feel very lucky to say that I have been able to step away from drugs and alcohol because I am not addicted to it. I can still be around it and I know that's not the case for everybody and I feel very lucky to do that. So I, I mean, I was sober for like 6 to 7 months, but that was also helpful because I had like moved back in with my family after I left the relationship and they didn't really have alcohol in the house.
00;33;25;15 - 00;33;27;01
Sierra
And so.
00;33;27;03 - 00;33;27;25
Stephanie
I.
00;33;28;00 - 00;33;36;22
Sierra
And it was COVID. So it's like I couldn't really even go anywhere anyway. And because I was I had moved away from Denver at that point, and Denver was where all my friends were.
00;33;36;24 - 00;33;38;07
Stephanie
So that.
00;33;38;09 - 00;33;52;29
Sierra
Happened. And then so during the pandemic, I picked up drinking again. And I thought for some reason it was going to change. I thought that because, oh, I left the unhealthy relationship, like, I'll be fine to drink now. And it hadn't.
00;33;52;29 - 00;33;57;00
Stephanie
Changed at all, unfortunately.
00;33;57;02 - 00;34;00;22
Sierra
And then, I don't know, there was just a couple.
00;34;00;25 - 00;34;01;22
Stephanie
It was this.
00;34;01;24 - 00;34;26;07
Sierra
Cyclical thing of drinking alcohol, spending money I didn't really have at the time, saying things that I didn't really want to say. And like I would put my body into situations in terms of sleeping with people that I would wake up and I'd be like, I really didn't want to. And not to say everything was definitely on my terms, but I just I don't think I would have done it if I was sober.
00;34;26;10 - 00;34;27;17
Sierra
And so.
00;34;27;19 - 00;34;29;27
Stephanie
I.
00;34;29;29 - 00;34;59;16
Sierra
I was moving through that and I finally in January of this year, I had a final interaction with myself. And honestly with another person who I just it brought out a side of me, but also made it really apparent because me and this person's relationship was solely based on alcohol and I was already teetering with the fact that I wanted to step away without from alcohol.
00;34;59;16 - 00;35;27;14
Sierra
And this weekend had was so infused with booze and there was just, you know, a blow up argument. And I was like, I was like, I can't do this anymore. Like, I can't I can't put myself in this situation. And I also it kind of skyrocketed me into pursuing a community that's not based around alcohol, alcohol, because I think that that is something that our entire generation, unfortunately does have to kind of come to terms with, is that if.
00;35;27;14 - 00;35;28;25
Stephanie
You like, whatever.
00;35;28;25 - 00;35;49;17
Sierra
Route. But I think that traditional college route, there's a of drinking and a lot of partying that goes on. So it's like a lot of our relationships in that timeframe are based around consumption and altering yourself and you know, very long story short, I spent the last over a decade, I guess, half my life at that point altering myself.
00;35;49;17 - 00;35;51;09
Sierra
And so.
00;35;51;12 - 00;35;52;15
Stephanie
I was like, I just got.
00;35;52;16 - 00;36;09;28
Sierra
Kind of it was kind of out of relentless curiosity. I was like, I will take a year and not drink. Because like I said, I feel very fortunate I'm able to do that. And I was like, If I want to go back to drinking, then I'll go back to drinking. But I was like, I just want to know who I am, what do I actually like?
00;36;09;28 - 00;36;27;02
Sierra
Because I don't think I liked some of the people and things that I was doing and not to make any of the people that I had been in. That doesn't make them bad. It just wasn't aligned. And so I think the further that I've delved into this work, I've really it's just made the curiosity heightened up like, okay, who the fuck am I?
00;36;27;02 - 00;36;30;20
Stephanie
Actually, Yeah, yeah. Is that who you are? And yeah, yeah.
00;36;30;21 - 00;36;37;28
Intro/Stephanie
I think you can become and who you want to become. It has nothing to do with other people. It's. Yeah. Access within yourself.
00;36;38;04 - 00;36;39;04
Stephanie
Yeah. Exactly.
00;36;39;04 - 00;36;57;23
Sierra
Well and that is so eloquently put because it was almost came from this place of like I like if I'm going to get competitive I don't really compete against a lot of people. I like to compete against myself and for me I was like, What the fuck can I accomplish in one year? Like, what can I get done in one year that I'm not drinking, that my bank account isn't?
00;36;57;23 - 00;37;22;01
Sierra
And like, inhibited that my mind inhibited that like my my entire spiritual being is inhibited. I was like, what will I look like at the end of this year that will get me there and then, you know, tied into my move with Austin, I'm not going to lie. It has been probably the loneliest season of my life, but it's everything about it has felt necessary.
00;37;22;05 - 00;37;43;06
Sierra
So because a lot of of my friendships have shifted and only because it's I don't necessarily have anything in common with those people. Unfortunately, some of them have been lost due to things that were happening with alcohol and those have been lessons. But it's just I've just gotten really intentional about asking myself, who do I want to spend time with?
00;37;43;06 - 00;38;03;20
Sierra
How do I want to spend time with those people? And what life do I want to build right now? Because I just became starkly aware that if I didn't change anything, my life wasn't going to go on a path that I was going to be building it from it. It was going to be happening to me because I was perpetuating this feeling of being out of control.
00;38;03;20 - 00;38;23;17
Sierra
That was from my childhood, of never feeling in control and it feeling really chaotic. And so that's what I was doing in my later twenties when I was drinking and just causing havoc everywhere. So that's where it was all stemmed from. And I guess I'm about five months in now. Five and a half months maybe.
00;38;23;19 - 00;38;24;26
Intro/Stephanie
That's amazing.
00;38;24;28 - 00;38;25;13
Sierra
Yeah.
00;38;25;13 - 00;38;36;23
Intro/Stephanie
And I would say like day to day. I mean, yeah, we were at the bachelorette party together. We went out as people were drinking the entire weekend. And you were sober. Did you have nonalcoholic wine or did you?
00;38;36;25 - 00;38;43;27
Sierra
I don't think any of the ones we went to did have nonalcoholic wine. So which is actually very uncommon, I will say. Well, maybe not out of the.
00;38;44;05 - 00;38;45;12
Intro/Stephanie
Pale, but yeah, I don't.
00;38;45;12 - 00;39;05;20
Sierra
Mind. Yeah, I'm wineries. I don't think had them but I think that's its own like genre of booze like nonalcoholic wine. So but I mean those are the times that I thought I was going to be tested the most because, I mean, I'm sitting there celebrating my longest standing friend, my getting married with like, I mean, and you guys are so incredible.
00;39;05;20 - 00;39;23;20
Sierra
I was like, that would be the place where I would want to just like, you know, join in. But it's honestly, it's in those moments, it's in those exact moments actually, that I've realized that like Melanie for me and I knew this to begin with, but it was like, this is a friend that I don't have to alter anything to be around.
00;39;23;20 - 00;39;29;12
Sierra
So it was like at like it was it was so easy to do that. And so.
00;39;29;12 - 00;39;30;26
Stephanie
For the day to day, day.
00;39;30;26 - 00;39;49;03
Sierra
To day is honestly, I think the thing that keeps me in it because I'm not waking up, hanging out like hung over, which is like waking up clear headed, knowing exactly what I want doesn't mean I don't experience anxiety, but I'm not run by the anxiety anymore. When I would drink, it would just be like ever. The entire world hates me.
00;39;49;06 - 00;39;54;13
Sierra
I can't do this. Like I'm the failure. I'm the problem. Like.
00;39;54;15 - 00;40;10;00
Stephanie
Hi, it's. I'm the problem. It's me. Like. So it was just like it was it was to my body that you were with. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm like you just. Do you still love me? Right? Right. Well, I'd like to go.
00;40;10;00 - 00;40;29;25
Sierra
Back to everything we're talking about. It's the self worth. Every choice that you're making in your life is a, like, direct correlation with your self-worth. And I already struggled with my self-worth prior to that. But you put alcohol on that. I didn't have any. I zero. So like, that's what the last five months have has been interesting more than anything.
00;40;29;25 - 00;40;37;11
Sierra
It's like, what do I like and do I want to keep it in my life because I'm worth having whatever it is that I want in my life.
00;40;37;12 - 00;40;38;02
Intro/Stephanie
Yes.
00;40;38;02 - 00;40;39;10
Stephanie
So, yeah.
00;40;39;11 - 00;41;06;11
Intro/Stephanie
The editing process is so powerful because you really can take a look at all of these different aspects that have been clouding things. Yeah, all the noise that's been in your life for so long and when you take that intentional look at it all and you sit down and you think, Is this adding to my life? Is this getting me closer to who I want to be and where I want to go or is it slowing me down and holding me back?
00;41;06;11 - 00;41;18;24
Intro/Stephanie
Is this like dead weight dragging me? It's a very powerful process. It's it's really amazing then how quickly things can accelerate once you do cut ties with some of those habits.
00;41;18;24 - 00;41;19;09
Stephanie
Yeah.
00;41;19;09 - 00;41;21;24
Intro/Stephanie
Communities or choices that you were.
00;41;21;24 - 00;41;22;20
Stephanie
Yeah.
00;41;22;22 - 00;41;38;01
Sierra
Absolutely Yeah that's yeah that's I would agree with that. It definitely feels expedited because it's clear like I know that if I pivot and I switch, it's coming from a place of, Oh yeah, that makes sense because of X, Y and Z. Not like I'm pivoting and then questioning everything I just did.
00;41;38;03 - 00;41;38;22
Stephanie
Yeah, I.
00;41;38;22 - 00;42;06;03
Sierra
Think in terms of like connection with intuition and things like that, I'm still navigating how to connect with my intuition. That's been a lifelong journey for me, but I can definitely feel it getting closer and closer because the other component in everything that we're talking about and I know you've talked about it on some of your earlier podcast episodes with Rest and body work and like reading books and stuff like that.
00;42;06;05 - 00;42;43;05
Sierra
All of this is derived from your nervous system. This is all nervous system regulation. You cannot regulate your nervous system if you're drinking alcohol all the time. That's the science again. And I mean, I'm talking like heavily drinking. It's just like it just doesn't work. You're not going to be able to do it. So in order to change your life, you have to really think about what you're putting into your body because like nervous system regulation is the differentiator in people that are living peaceful centered lives and living lives on their terms.
00;42;43;05 - 00;42;44;23
Sierra
I would think so.
00;42;44;25 - 00;42;46;10
Stephanie
Or how I would say.
00;42;46;13 - 00;43;13;17
Intro/Stephanie
I know a couple of years ago I was listening to somebody and they were talking about kind of like the journey inward then we're taking and how almost everybody starts on the physical health and well-being plane. You know what you're putting into your body, like doing a cleanse or something like that. Like that's often an intro for people.
00;43;13;17 - 00;43;38;25
Intro/Stephanie
Like I'm I'm ready to make a change in my life. So I'm going to do this, you know, 30 day reset or whatever it is that happens all the time. But it really makes sense because what you're putting into your body changes the energy that you have in the day. It changes probably the pheromones that you're putting out to the world that will attract different types of people or repel different types of people.
00;43;38;25 - 00;43;50;11
Intro/Stephanie
So first of all, I have a question. Has been, have there been any moments that have been really difficult and for people who might come up against that, like, yeah, get through that?
00;43;50;13 - 00;43;59;00
Sierra
Absolutely. I think in the beginning it was there was like certain things. But this is also what I'll say when you.
00;43;59;02 - 00;43;59;17
Stephanie
Feel.
00;43;59;17 - 00;44;22;24
Sierra
Like you need to drink alcohol. And this is with addiction aside, because I'm not a doctor and I can't talk about like the chemical addiction process. But yeah, if, if this is something that whenever you feel like, oh, I need to alter something in order to feel comfortable, those are the moments where I question who I am, Who who am I about to meet up with?
00;44;22;25 - 00;44;23;12
Sierra
Because I'm like.
00;44;23;17 - 00;44;24;12
Stephanie
Why do I feel like.
00;44;24;12 - 00;44;39;11
Sierra
I need to alter myself? And I have another component that's really interesting that I'm not sure that you know about. So I was born a permanent tremor in both of my hands. They they shake all of the time. The only thing that gets rid of those tremors is alcohol.
00;44;39;14 - 00;44;42;01
Stephanie
So it's for me and.
00;44;42;01 - 00;44;47;13
Sierra
It's like it's such a bizarre thing to have because people ask you about it in different ways.
00;44;47;13 - 00;44;50;23
Stephanie
Some of them not so tactfully. Sometimes they're like, What's with you? Some people.
00;44;50;23 - 00;44;52;08
Sierra
Assume I'm an alcoholic.
00;44;52;08 - 00;44;53;02
Stephanie
But you guys like they're.
00;44;53;02 - 00;45;22;29
Sierra
Always thinking, some people don't notice it at all. So it's like it's one of those things that for me, I got really nervous because when I was like meeting people for the first time or something and it's perpetuated, it's a nerve condition. So it's like it's perpetuated when I think about it even more so for me. Like, honestly, there were some times where I would drink in the past, literally just to get rid of my hands shaking and now not having that that for me has probably been the most difficult thing.
00;45;23;01 - 00;45;41;26
Sierra
I've been kind of grateful every time I've been really triggered by not drinking because it's allowed me to ask myself questions of like, is this nervous because I'm doing something perfect? Like, am I going to a networking event for the first time? Which I did do actually, when South by Southwest was in town and I was like, I.
00;45;41;26 - 00;45;45;15
Stephanie
Would typically be drinking to calmness, but you can tell.
00;45;45;15 - 00;45;54;25
Sierra
What the nerves are because you're also able to be in your body more. You're like, I'm nervous because this is new. I'm not nervous because I don't feel comfortable around these people, you know?
00;45;54;26 - 00;46;17;29
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, And all that information is such useful feedback to just yet perpetuate this cycle. That's why it accelerates the process. Because in all of these instances, you're starting to notice, Oh, I'm nervous in this situation. Why am I nervous in this situation? Tuck that in your back pocket and with tbem, come back to it later, literally. And what it like?
00;46;18;01 - 00;46;29;23
Intro/Stephanie
Was there a time that this didn't go the way that I wanted it to? And yes, there are moments where it's just totally natural to be nervous, Like we want to make a good impression, obviously. But then there are situations where it's like, okay, there's no reason that I should be freaking out here.
00;46;30;00 - 00;46;32;15
Stephanie
Yeah, what's coming up? What's up? And then, yeah.
00;46;32;15 - 00;46;55;05
Intro/Stephanie
And then you can look at it and then that is like tremendous growth. Every time you can take a moment with yourself and reflect on what came up in that situation. And I mean, I'm curious to know, how has this five, almost six months of sobriety shown up in your life? Like what changes have you noticed? What sort of like have you had any big highs?
00;46;55;05 - 00;47;17;04
Sierra
I think like most of it has been right around the self-worth aspect, I think, you guys and then from there, being able to feel more confident in the things that I'm saying and the choices that I'm making. So I think like it's the clarity. It's the clarity for me dog. Like, I just like it really is. It's just the.
00;47;17;06 - 00;47;18;11
Stephanie
It's just.
00;47;18;13 - 00;47;53;04
Sierra
Feeling in being able to be in my body and, you know, I do I suffer from depression and anxiety severely. I choose I choose not to medicate for it. I prefer to use things for myself, such as therapy, exercise and meditation. So for that, it's allowed me to get myself out of a real like when I'm spinning out and anxiety and pull myself back in, it's allowed me to just be kinder to myself too, as I'm navigating.
00;47;53;07 - 00;47;55;04
Sierra
So I think I mean.
00;47;55;12 - 00;47;56;17
Stephanie
The high with.
00;47;56;19 - 00;48;19;28
Sierra
I think is like the worse it because as somebody who has suffered from severe, severe depression, I mean there was times where I didn't like the suicidal ideation and 2021 to 2022 was real. It was not. And I think I'm very comfortable talking about it at this point because I think it's something that should be spoken about and is far more frequent than a lot of people really understand.
00;48;20;00 - 00;48;43;16
Sierra
So I think my aha moment is like has been like, I am supposed to be here and I matter and I'm like, you know, I want to be here. I think that's been the biggest I would say like turn around and I'm not, I mean, you know, depression and things like that. It's a it's can be a big rollercoaster for some people.
00;48;43;16 - 00;48;55;02
Sierra
And I validate that. But for me, it's really allowed kind of like a mental stability, for lack of a better words, of not questioning everything and everything that's going on in my life.
00;48;55;08 - 00;49;04;07
Intro/Stephanie
That's the aha of a life. Yeah. Or you're meant to be here. Yeah. For your existence. I mean, that's huge.
00;49;04;09 - 00;49;04;23
Sierra
Yeah.
00;49;04;28 - 00;49;06;05
Stephanie
Good. Brianna.
00;49;06;08 - 00;49;23;26
Sierra
Thank you. I mean, you're doing it too though, girl. It's like if you commit to this work and it's not. It's funny to me that you know that the bypass thing that gets spread across the Internet of, like, these little memes, which I love, like, I'm always here for a read, like a read tweet or a repost of a meme.
00;49;23;26 - 00;49;34;03
Sierra
That's something that's inspirational. But like, it's interesting to me that people correlate doing this work with like rainbows flying out and sweet yoga poses. I was like.
00;49;34;05 - 00;49;45;09
Stephanie
This work is fucking terrifying. I'm like, No, I don't. I mean, like, you're like, do this. If you don't want to just get you're going to get your shit rocked, but you're going to.
00;49;45;09 - 00;49;51;24
Sierra
Come out on the other side really knowing who you are and choosing your life. So it's like.
00;49;51;26 - 00;49;52;03
Stephanie
That.
00;49;52;03 - 00;49;54;22
Sierra
To me is worth it. And so you're doing it to a girl.
00;49;54;29 - 00;50;22;12
Intro/Stephanie
You are 100% worth it. And we all have different things. For me, alcohol has been an issue, but there other aspects of my life that I've had to shift around and I've had to ruthlessly edit for for many years. That's been the people editing, the people in my life and my longer term edit is now in this career phase and really slowly and gently shifting into a space where I can be more creative and learning about my own creativity.
00;50;22;12 - 00;50;52;09
Intro/Stephanie
Discovery that I have any creativity only that's so cool to give to, to learn that, to recognize that, to bring that out of myself. I've had to spend tons of time alone and remove so many things from my life to give myself that space mentally and physically and emotionally, to just be so in my own bubble, to learn that and see that myself.
00;50;52;09 - 00;51;13;07
Intro/Stephanie
And so I think that editing process is just everyone has something and something to look into. It might be smaller than you think it has to be. It doesn't have to be some massive drastic life change. Maybe. Yeah, but like you probably know what it is and it will change your life the second you start taking action on it.
00;51;13;13 - 00;51;20;05
Sierra
Absolutely. I think it's like what is keeping you from looking at yourself? And sometimes it's substances, sometimes it's people.
00;51;20;06 - 00;51;24;24
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, I was the queen of putting all of my worth into everybody else.
00;51;24;26 - 00;51;25;18
Sierra
Yeah.
00;51;25;20 - 00;51;51;07
Intro/Stephanie
They all put anybody on a pedestal. I'll do anything that you think is right and we'll just go down whatever path you want to go down. And I have no good ideas. I can't do this for myself, so I'm just going to put all my worth in to you. And I had to cut everyone off to find my own sense of worth and put myself how to sell and build that foundation and stuff.
00;51;51;14 - 00;51;53;04
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, none of it's easy.
00;51;53;07 - 00;51;54;11
Sierra
None of it is.
00;51;54;13 - 00;51;55;22
Intro/Stephanie
Always worth it.
00;51;55;23 - 00;52;22;13
Sierra
It's always worth it. There's nobody that does any of this. It's like, Dammit, I wish I would have done it. It's always worth it. And, you know, to validate everything that you just said, there is another component of that in that particular sector that I think is important to talk about, which is being a woman. And I think that there is like there's a societal aspect to this, and this is I'm not going to go down some long road of, you know, like female power because that's not what I'm talking about.
00;52;22;13 - 00;52;45;04
Sierra
I'm talking about people really becoming cognizant of the amount of pressures that have been put on females and like the that we have been told to live our lives. And we are seeing that change in real time to again shout out Gen Z. We are seeing these women that are these young girls that you can still see are affected by some of like, you know, misogynistic aspects of our society.
00;52;45;04 - 00;52;55;02
Sierra
But it's a real thing to like to even to be quiet and be polite and be just like, you know.
00;52;55;04 - 00;52;55;19
Stephanie
Yeah, do.
00;52;55;19 - 00;53;10;15
Sierra
What you're told. Some mess like now, like there's this just validate yourself whenever you're going through that, because I think it's so crucial just to allow yourself to really fully emerge as a person.
00;53;10;18 - 00;53;22;05
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, like I said, I'm very inspired by all this action that you've taken because these are big leaps, Like these are just small little I'm going to turn left instead of turning right when I go on my daily, Wow.
00;53;22;07 - 00;53;24;05
Stephanie
This is a big deal.
00;53;24;06 - 00;53;47;14
Intro/Stephanie
You're taking this huge, huge step. So I'm excited to see how your year wraps up and where it goes from there. Give us a quick debrief of how you found your current job and some goals that you're gaining from this job that you intentionally took this role to gain these skills, to create a platform for yourself to then spring off of in the future?
00;53;47;14 - 00;53;48;28
Intro/Stephanie
Yeah, that's a little rundown.
00;53;49;01 - 00;54;00;20
Sierra
So okay so let everybody know I creative directing project manage in in the cannabis industry so in packaging so I work with clients all.
00;54;00;23 - 00;54;00;26
Stephanie
The.
00;54;00;26 - 00;54;22;11
Sierra
Country and technically world right now because we are in Canada and Puerto Rico as well and I help develop the esthetic of their packaging, whether it be cannabis, flower, cannabis, edibles, what have you. We do it all. I found this job, It found me. I did not find it, actually, it really did find me. And I will say I had been doing the TBM work.
00;54;22;11 - 00;54;31;09
Sierra
I had written a list of its requirements and I had kept it in the back of my phone and it was had it with me at all times.
00;54;31;12 - 00;54;31;19
Stephanie
And all of.
00;54;31;19 - 00;54;47;22
Sierra
A sudden I got this email one day and they reached out to me and I like, like read it. And I was like, Oh, this is interesting. I had never really intentionally wanted to work in weed, but I had grown up in Boulder and always had been around. And it's such an emerging. I've always been obsessed with business.
00;54;47;22 - 00;55;17;18
Sierra
Like I didn't go to business school, I went to school for apparel design and merchandizing, but I've always loved business. I had a phone call with them and I was like, Oh, this actually sounds legitimate. Like I would have like a direct say into what we're actually creating. I knew that I'd be managing a design team that's overseas, which if you're working in a normal creative branding agency world, like in local in the United States, it takes a lot longer to be able to give your creative feedback.
00;55;17;18 - 00;55;35;17
Sierra
You have to kind of go through the political rings and tower, and that was one of the requirements of the next job is that my creative feedback would be implemented immediately. So and the amount of autonomy that I would be allowed, because I've known from a very young age that I am not supposed to work for someone else.
00;55;35;17 - 00;56;03;06
Stephanie
Like you would not find me. I could never do a normal corporate. I don't like roles a lot of the time in my very corporate setting. You not a greater role go. So I like to make my own. It feels more fun. I have a better idea mind. Okay, this feels better.
00;56;03;09 - 00;56;33;29
Sierra
That's where I'm at. And it has been. This job has kicked my ass more than anything else in my entire life. But it it has brought out the work ethic in me that I know has been there. But prior to this, my work ethic has always kind of been around surviving and a lot of ways. Another like aspect of kind of perpetuated from when I was small that this is allowed me to thrive and really get curious about what do I want to do, how do I want to do it?
00;56;33;29 - 00;56;54;16
Sierra
How do I want to build a business? My gift in this life is is a lot to do with the communication. And sometimes that's visual communication through design, esthetics. Sometimes it's verbal, but it's the energy behind both of those. And when I can combine them, that is when my heart is so full.
00;56;54;18 - 00;56;56;22
Stephanie
So I.
00;56;56;25 - 00;57;26;19
Sierra
You know, I would like to help continuing help to continue to grow this company. And there's always a part of me that always wants to remain philanthropic. And through this industry I have the direct ability to do that specifically with indigenous and the BiPAP community that we don't really see a lot. And so it's we're trying and, you know, there's a lot of indigenous cultures that are directly correlated with cannabis plants as well as mushrooms.
00;57;26;19 - 00;57;49;24
Sierra
In fact, they are not. They are it's not a lot of them. And so making that those voices are coming up at the same time. So that's something I'm always like, I've always wanted to have a voice for the people that don't. And that's been a very big part of my design since I was little, little. And so making sure that stays tied in there in this industry allows me to hit all of the things that I want to hit.
00;57;49;26 - 00;57;53;11
Sierra
It fills me up and it kicks my butt.
00;57;53;13 - 00;58;15;19
Intro/Stephanie
Yes. And I love that you're intentionally building up the skillset for enhancing the skill set that already existed within you and getting some experience watching and learning from people who are a couple of steps ahead of you so that you could eventually create your own business. You're not forcing yourself to do it now before you feel ready to.
00;58;15;19 - 00;58;22;15
Intro/Stephanie
You're really laying that groundwork for yourself. Yeah, that should intentional queen.
00;58;22;17 - 00;58;26;10
Stephanie
I trying to be trying to be a keeps me in check.
00;58;26;10 - 00;58;32;06
Sierra
Or else I go on like reactive mode. Yeah and so it's the slowing down I got to slow down I'm.
00;58;32;06 - 00;58;33;20
Intro/Stephanie
Down as everything.
00;58;33;22 - 00;58;34;19
Sierra
Everything.
00;58;34;23 - 00;58;41;16
Intro/Stephanie
Everything well and so many people especially on the team work we think a lot about or they talk a lot about.
00;58;41;16 - 00;58;42;02
Stephanie
Jumping.
00;58;42;02 - 00;58;49;22
Intro/Stephanie
Off a cliff. Yeah. In the sense of taking a big action and it kind of like increases your, your magnetism.
00;58;49;29 - 00;58;50;23
Stephanie
Yeah.
00;58;50;25 - 00;59;34;10
Intro/Stephanie
In the world of manifestation and so people think that they have to if they want to start a business, they have to quit their job now and start the business tomorrow. Right. You have to take that big action to really show that they're serious and that they are, you know, grabbing life by the balls. But yeah, there's something to be said for giving yourself the space to do it in a way that feels right for you and to slow down enough to really build up your self-worth and build up their skill set so that when you do create that business eventually, which you will, it'll be from a much more stable, secure place.
00;59;34;13 - 00;59;35;11
Stephanie
That.
00;59;35;13 - 00;59;48;22
Intro/Stephanie
Will have a lasting impact as opposed to a flash in the pan. I tried this thing and it didn't work. I just, you know, threw money at it or threw my time at it and burnt myself out like you. Yeah. Methodical. So that when the time comes, it lasts.
00;59;48;24 - 01;00;06;25
Sierra
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I feel very grateful for that too, because I understand that some people don't really necessarily get that gift, But I do. I do want to learn before I put out into the world. And I do understand that is also it's like I probably will need to do something before I think I'm really ready because that's typically how.
01;00;06;27 - 01;00;08;07
Intro/Stephanie
Do you know we.
01;00;08;10 - 01;00;10;24
Stephanie
Were ready? Yeah, so.
01;00;10;27 - 01;00;31;02
Sierra
But yeah, it's insane the amount. And I think that's another component, you know, being able to be sober and show up to my job has made me more curious. And also like because there were certain times I was like, Do I even like what I'm doing? Which is so important. We spend so much time yakking. Please make sure you like what you're doing.
01;00;31;02 - 01;00;46;11
Sierra
For the love of God, I meet people that are like, I don't really like my job, and then I find out they've been there for like six or seven years and I don't say this with judgment. I say it with complete compassion. But I'm like, You spend more time there than you do with your friends and family. Like, please, like what you do.
01;00;46;16 - 01;00;47;06
Stephanie
Please, you.
01;00;47;06 - 01;00;56;22
Intro/Stephanie
Can. Yeah. And someone else loves that thing that you aren't loving. So yeah. So go find that thing you do love and let them take your place. And the thing that you are not loving so much.
01;00;56;23 - 01;00;57;29
Sierra
Yes, exactly.
01;00;57;29 - 01;01;10;17
Intro/Stephanie
Wrap it up. What advice would you give to someone who's not quite feeling like they're in the right place? Maybe you. A couple of years ago, before you started taking this intentional action, before you committed to TBM, think of that.
01;01;10;17 - 01;01;33;27
Sierra
You I mean, I don't want to bring keep bringing up the same point. But I think even if it is just a conversation with you and your self, get out a notebook and ask yourself what you want. And I understand. I validate that this can be a very scary thing for some people because I don't know how many of them have really asked themselves out.
01;01;33;27 - 01;01;43;05
Sierra
Or maybe you didn't grow up in a house where it was okay to want what you wanted. But literally, if it's just a conversation between you and.
01;01;43;05 - 01;01;44;19
Stephanie
You.
01;01;44;21 - 01;02;06;17
Sierra
Write down what do I want? And I don't give a shit if it is raising my little ponies on like in the middle of Antarctica, that I don't, I don't care. Because to the points that you made at the beginning staff about, you know, it's like in some of the points you just made, it's like leave room for what you want so somebody else can go find what they want.
01;02;06;24 - 01;02;26;21
Sierra
I think when we start to ask ourselves these questions, we weirdly think that everybody wants what we want. And I can't tell you enough that it is. So it is actually very unique to you. It is everything that you want is actually unique to you. Is there a universal want to be able to like, you know, take care of yourself financially, have a house like a roof over your head, feed yourself.
01;02;26;21 - 01;02;48;12
Sierra
Yes. Okay. Yes, everybody wants that. But beyond that, what do you want? So it really doesn't and you don't even need to do anything with it yet. Just because you write it down. But the first step in any of this is really asking yourself, what do I want? How do I want to feel? If that's an easier question to answer than start there.
01;02;48;12 - 01;02;57;13
Sierra
And for some of you, it might be because as far as your human designs and things like that go, regardless if you follow or pursue even or even know what the fuck I'm talking.
01;02;57;15 - 01;02;59;02
Stephanie
There's part of you that are more desiring to.
01;02;59;02 - 01;03;14;17
Sierra
Be in how you feel than how something looks. So how do you want to feel? What do you want it to look like? I a sucker for a vision board. Like that's what I do like a lot of the time. I think just because I love esthetics and composition.
01;03;14;17 - 01;03;16;22
Intro/Stephanie
Just get it out of your head and not on paper.
01;03;16;23 - 01;03;40;07
Sierra
Yes, exactly. Well, and some of us are better designed for images. So that's what it is, is collecting images. Like any time you see something and again, it like sparks excitement or joy or you hear something and it sparks insight, excitement and joy. And like another TBM word is an expander, which is basically somebody in your life that you see in real life.
01;03;40;09 - 01;04;16;09
Sierra
It could be on the TV, though. It could be a celebrity. And it also and this is the other thing I want to drive home does not need to be of your gender ID. I have many male expanders. I have Jonathan Van Ness, who is a them Expander is one of my expanders in terms of how they live their lives like they like find whatever is like exciting to you and just start there them and write it down If what you want feels too scary, then just write a list of what you find exciting in life and then just start remaining curious and continue that curiosity, because that's what's going to allow you to expand
01;04;16;09 - 01;04;25;25
Sierra
the list. And please do it because we need people living their lives and living what makes them happy. And it's definitely not going to look. It might be.
01;04;26;00 - 01;04;27;17
Stephanie
You might be happy being.
01;04;27;17 - 01;04;28;09
Sierra
An accountant.
01;04;28;09 - 01;04;30;00
Stephanie
I hope you are, because.
01;04;30;00 - 01;04;30;25
Sierra
I am not.
01;04;30;25 - 01;04;32;11
Stephanie
And I really need somebody to be.
01;04;32;11 - 01;04;34;12
Sierra
Happy being an accountant. But like.
01;04;34;14 - 01;04;35;21
Stephanie
I, like I, I.
01;04;35;21 - 01;04;46;06
Sierra
Really just think that is the first step and the easiest. I think in order to start pursuing a life that really lights you up because you also deserve that. You deserve to be lit up.
01;04;46;07 - 01;04;55;01
Intro/Stephanie
Okay, where can everyone follow along with you? By the time this be back on social media, another intentional action you're taking to social media break.
01;04;55;04 - 01;04;56;22
Stephanie
Yeah, we love.
01;04;56;25 - 01;05;00;19
Intro/Stephanie
But when you're back from that right. What is your handle?
01;05;00;24 - 01;05;01;26
Stephanie
Yes I love.
01;05;01;29 - 01;05;19;14
Sierra
Taking a season off. It is come see something. So it is c0me. S i s e. S r t h i n something at the end there. Yeah. That is where you can find me. And then hoping to kind of follow suit and read stuff.
01;05;19;17 - 01;05;27;17
Stephanie
Like Journey and start my own so, you know, expansive. So watch. It's been incredible. So yeah.
01;05;27;20 - 01;05;36;15
Sierra
That's where you can find me and please anybody, if they have any questions about anything, feel free to reach out. I am an open, open book sometimes.
01;05;36;16 - 01;05;38;17
Intro/Stephanie
All right. Thank you so much. But yeah.
01;05;38;20 - 01;05;41;01
Stephanie
Of course. Yeah.
01;05;41;03 - 01;05;45;26
Intro/Stephanie
I think it's so important, but I know it's hard to do. Yeah, I really, really appreciate it.
01;05;45;29 - 01;05;56;27
Sierra
Yeah. Thank you so, so much. I really love getting the opportunity. It's important that these conversations go out in the world and people are hearing them and we're having them. So thank you is such a good.